Stuck In A Rut? Why Setting Goals Will Get You Moving Again

I have to confess, I’ve very often been disappointed by my attempts at formal goal-setting. I’ve set goals which have been too ambitious, goals which conflicted with each other and goals which ultimately, I just didn’t really want. I’ve felt annoyed by SMART goals and the rather empty suggestions of some motivational speakers. Too often and for too many people, messages like “reach for the stars” have just turned out to be chest-beating bombast.

So I settled sometime ago on setting vague goals to guide me, putting them to the back of my mind and then concentrating on the steps, habits and tasks which get me where I want to go. And to be honest, I’ve been happy with that.

How Will Setting Goals Help Me?

However, what I found out researching this article surprised me¹. Three priceless nuggets of evidence-based knowledge stand out which show precisely how setting goals can help you to negotiate your tough times.

1. The process of setting goals can enhance your well being².
2. Goal setting and achievement can improve your sense of perceived control over your circumstances³. In other words, by setting goals you’re more likely to believe you can influence your own life.
3. Goals are good for motivation.⁴ While being motivated helps you to achieve your goals, actually setting goals will add to your motivation in the first place.

Good News

Now, that strikes me as very good news for those of us who have suffered setbacks or been challenged by adversity.

The reason being? When we get knocked back, our sense of well-being, our sense of helplessness and our motivation all typically get knocked too. I would guess that your experiences are not that dissimilar to mine.

So, whether you have felt the pain of

• workplace bullying
• bereavement
• a financial crisis
• or relationship problems

the evidence suggests that setting goals will help you move on from where you are now.

Obstacles In Your Way

However, like me, you may be disillusioned. You may have set goals in the past and not achieved them. Apathy has set in and you’re reluctant to set any more. You need to know

• what’s stopping you going out achieving whatever you want
• exactly what you have to do to set goals which are really going to help you.

Let’s focus on the obstacles which might be getting in your way. Check how you normally set goals against the following 5 key principles for goal achievement suggested by Locke and Latham⁵

1. Your goal should be neither too hard nor too easy.
2. It should be specific.
3. You need to be committed to the goal.
4. The goal should not be so complex as to overwhelm you.
5. Feedback is necessary to maintain motivation.

Additionally, you need to be careful that goals do not conflict with each other⁶, that you have the skills to achieve the goal and that depending on whether you are a high or low achievement oriented person, you may choose performance goals or mastery goals⁷.

Let’s have a go at unpicking all that.

Goals Should Be Neither Too Easy Nor Too Hard

If you’ve not succeeded with goals in the past, they were maybe outside the goldilocks zone. They should provide a challenge but not one that it is too scary (i.e. they should be Achievable, the A in SMART). In other words, they should be just right.

Goals Should Be Specific

You may be able to relate to this especially if someone else has set you a goal but you’ve not been clear about what they mean. After all, how can you hit a target which is unclear? Specific goals (the S in SMART) are less ambiguous about what constitutes achievement and will add to your motivation.

You Need To Be Committed To Your Goal

Isn’t this something you can take for granted, especially if you’ve set the goal yourself? It’s true that if you set a goal independently from anyone else, then you are more likely to take ownership of it. However, you only need to look in the direction of New Year’s Resolutions to see that commitment is often not guaranteed.

Why is that? Why might you think you want to do something but then you find you don’t take the required action? There are too many reasons to go into fully here. However, a prime cause is that the goal was just not important enough to you. In the SMART model this is referred to as R for relevant to you.

A good approach to establishing the importance of your goals is to do an exercise like the Rocking Chair Test. Imagine sitting in your rocking chair when you’re old and looking back on your life. Ask yourself, “What would I be most proud of having accomplished?” or “How would I like to be remembered?” This will give you several clues as to what goals you are likely to be committed to.

The Goal Should Not Be Too Complex

This relates to whether we feel we have the ability and skills to carry out a task and achieve a goal. The more complex the task, the more likely we are to find aspects of it which are outside our current skillset. So simplify the goal and make it more likely that you will succeed.

Feedback Is Necessary To Maintain Motivation

The feedback can come from other people and this kind of reporting can be very valuable from the right people. It should however, be constructive and offer you a focus for improvement.

Built-in feedback is also important. Measurable goals (the M in SMART) play a part here. The measure you are using will, if monitored regularly, be the feedback which tells you to what extent you are on the path to achieving your goal. Using that measurement, you can then adjust your approach to the goal, correcting course if necessary.

Clearly, feedback will also tell you when you have actually achieved your goal and provide the stimulus to celebrate, increase your belief in your ability to achieve goals and your desire to set more.

Conflicting Goals

Where I often fell down with setting goals in the past was that I wanted to achieve certain things but at the same time wasn’t prepared to accept less involvement with my young family. My family had prime importance in my life which meant other goals could always lead to conflict. Other goals were, unknown to my conscious self, measured against this standard. The result was unhappiness at the supposed lack of achievement which had an impact on my health and then on my family life.

If you’re struggling to achieve your goals, ask yourself, “What’s really going on here? Is this goal conflicting with something else of importance in my life or even a fundamental value of mine?” If so, you can prevent quite a lot of anxiety by acknowledging that fact and concentrate setting goals in an area of your life which is more important.

Having The Skills To Achieve

I’ve got quite excited at times in the past when I’ve set a goal and a plan for achieving it. However, progress did not necessarily follow, especially if I came up against insurmountable obstacles⁸. Now I know that often it was my lack of knowledge and expertise which was the problem. That’s been a major learning point for me and I now choose goals more allied to my skillset or at least have a plan for acquiring the skills.

Performance or Mastery Goals

Depending on the kind of person you are, you may choose to pursue performance or mastery goals. Performance goals are the traditional goals which demonstrate your ability to achieve a set objective. Mastery goals focus on the development of skills. If you have a low achievement orientation, then you are more likely to be successful if you set a mastery goal. If however, your tendency is to high achievement then you will be more likely to show a positive reaction to performance goals. This is perhaps a reason why you have been unsuccessful in the past, especially if you’ve never considered whether you have a low or high achievement orientation.

What Next?

So, where do you go from here?

If you have been dealing with major challenges in life and your confidence has really taken a bad knock, then setting small goals to help yourself could be the way to go. The University of Exeter has produced a guide for helping people set goals as a part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy⁹. The authors suggest an approach of setting three positive, short-term goals. You would have the advantage of being able to succeed relatively quickly and use that as positive feedback with the aim then of setting more goals to help you further.

Some Tips

From my coaching experience, I would add the following tips to help you succeed in your goal-setting endeavours.

1. Write the goals down and even better, write down the actions and when and where you intend to perform them.
2. Consider the obstacles which may lie in your way. What can you do to negotiate them? A good exercise is “Future Post-Mortem”. Imagine you have not succeeded in your initial aim. What led to the lack of achievement?
3. Think about the process you need and the steps you are going to take. What good habits have you already got? What habits may you need to develop?
4. Set a deadline for achieving your goal (Timeline is the T in SMART). Be honest with yourself. Will a deadline too far away mean you procrastinate? Will a deadline too short cause you stress?
5. Review progress and the actual goal regularly. Was this the goal I really wanted? How am I making progress?
6. There’s no failure, only learning. Learn as much as possible and write it down along the way. Have you developed or improved a skill? Have you had any interesting insights into your abilities?
7. Celebrate or reward success. Whether a mental pat on the back or going out with friends and family, do it to reinforce the importance of the achievement.

Summary

Setting goals to help you move on after a setback can have positive effects on your life if you follow the above guidelines. To what extent you succeed will depend on the type of goal you set and how committed you are to it. Have a go. Start small if necessary but it could be the boost your life needs right now.

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1. I’m grateful to my colleagues at www.positivepsychology.com for their article on goal setting https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting/.
2. MacLeod, Coates & Hetherton (2008).
3. Vincent, Boddana, & MacLeod, 2004.
4. Latham 2004.
5. Locke and Latham 1990 (Note – these principles are regarded as the gold standard for goal setting and achievement in the workplace. They are extensively researched and I’m referring you to them because no advice on setting personal goals has as much evidence behind it.).
6. Locke, Smith, Erez, Chah, & Shaffer, 1994.
7. Elliot & Harackiewicz (1994) .
8. The nuclear power station I was going to build at the age of eight springs to mind!
9. Goal Setting In Low Intensity CBT.