Let’s get something straight. I have nothing against New Year’s resolutions. Okay, maybe I have a bit. Actually … somewhere between a bit and quite a lot.
Why? It’s partly about the fact that New Year’s resolutions are so ingrained in our culture that we feel obliged to make them. People never ask you at any other time of the year what you’re going to do to improve your life. But round about the 1st January it’s almost expected that you declare your intention to give up smoking, lose weight or climb Kilimanjaro in your underwear, even when we don’t really know what it takes to carry through on our resolution.
The thing is we end up setting goals which, statistically speaking, we’re going to fail to achieve. According to one study 88% of people see no success from making a New Year’s resolution1. Most people have given up trying by the middle of February.2
Why Wait?
The second thing I guess I don’t like about New Year’s resolutions is waiting till 1st January to make them. Sure, there’s all the “New Year, New You” thing and I fully agree it’s better to set goals at New Year rather than not at all. However, I’m very much in the camp of believing that goal setting and the subsequent action should be a year round activity. (Since you ask, I’ve got goals for the next two years and goals for the next few months. I don’t necessarily make them fit into a calendar year.)
The final reason I don’t like New Year’s resolutions? Well, it’s because I think there’s a better way to invest your time at the end of the year. And it’s all to do with a con trick.
The Con Trick
While setting goals or making New Year’s resolutions is exciting (in fact just setting them is enough to raise our sense of wellbeing), on its own it may not be enough. Although there can be a number of reasons why people fail to achieve their targets, in my experience a huge factor is lack of confidence.
I always felt I was a very confident person until I started thinking more deeply about my own goals. I was struck by my lack of direction, was dissatisfied with my progress and realised I performed certain tasks reluctantly. Realisation soon dawned that I had the same confidence challenges as many of my clients. You know the issues I mean; the little voice that tells you you’re not good enough, the memories of previous setbacks, fear of the unknown and so on.
So much of it in my case was due to years of illness and my feeling like an outcast from society. How could it not affect me when I saw everyone else (as I perceived it) getting on with their lives and prospering? There was so much I’d forgotten how to do or so it seemed.
What I didn’t know was that bit by bit, I was putting together material for this blog and for my Wacky Dai training programme. I was becoming a better coach and trainer through learning how to manage my everyday adversity. It’s only recently that I’ve come to realise how much that lived experience can help others. Becoming aware of the value I am to other people has boosted my confidence considerably. By thinking through what I’ve achieved and learned, how I’ve stretched my comfort zone and how I’ve developed my skills in certain areas, I now feel much more confident that I can take the next steps in my life.
The Year in Review
Thinking through these areas has been so successful that I’ve decided to perform a personal annual review (in a similar way to James Clear3) and spend the last few days of the year thinking about the year just gone rather than the year ahead.
So, here’s my recommendation to you – over the next few days, perform your own personal annual review using the template below. Realising how much you’ve done in a year will build your confidence before setting new goals for the next one.
A personal annual review will help you not only to see how far you’ve come over twelve months, it will also give you an insight into
- your strengths
- how much you have already achieved of any goals you’ve set previously (coaching clients are often very surprised at how much progress they have already made with a goal)
- what personal attributes you have to draw on
Depending on the questions you ask yourself, you can
- give yourself a pat on the back for what you’ve achieved (and perhaps forgotten about),
- feel good about what you’ve learned
- feel stronger because of the new things you’ve tried in the last year.
Completing a personal annual review template such as this one, can build confidence and motivation through feedback on achievement, progress and learning and give you direction for the next twelve months as you set goals based on how far you’ve come and how far you still want to go.
How To Use The Template – and a New Year’s Resolution!
I’ve made four suggestions for questions to ask yourself on the template:
- What went well?
- Where can I improve?
- What did I learn?
- What are my goals for 2020?
You could just as easily ask
- What new things did I undertake last year?
- How did I stretch myself last year?
- What good deeds did I perform?
- What things have I to be grateful for?
Make the template yours and create your own personal annual review.
Take a few days over it perhaps. Just a few minutes every day. It doesn’t have to be finished by New Year’s Day. Ask colleagues, friends and family if you’re having trouble remembering any details. If you really can’t remember what you did last year and you still really want to make a New Year’s resolution, then here’s a suggestion: start a simple journal and every day write down one sentence in your chosen categories. At the end of the year, you have a marvellous resource to look back on to build confidence and motivation.
What are you waiting for? Get to it!
The very best wishes for 2020. Be well and be strong.
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Photo by Melanie Shires
- Doctor Richard Wiseman refers to this study in his book 59 Seconds and the study is also mentioned in this article.
- However, if you want to know how to improve your chances of achieving your goals, then read my recent article on goals setting.
- James shares his publicly.