If the media are to be believed, then even before lockdown we were already living with a loneliness epidemic.
Too busy to even acknowledge our neighbours, we allegedly
- retreat into our tiny flats in the big cities
- spend nearly all our time alone and then
- open social media, leaving us feeling further disconnected from the lives of the people we scroll through.
The sad fact is that one in five people in the UK often feel lonely.1 It begs the question, do we know how to reach out and connect to people in lockdown?
Remote Working
Remote working was on the increase even before the Covid 19 crisis and of course it’s very popular for the flexibility it gives people and for the reduction in the time they need to spend commuting. However, even among people who enjoy working at home, loneliness is the biggest drawback.2
The present crisis means that more and more people are working remotely which can be positive but which also brings challenges. For example these remote workers may be people who live on their own and therefore don’t see anyone else during the course of the day.
Homeworkers may however be less affected than those in care homes, those who are self-isolating or those who have been told to shield due to health vulnerabilities. Their health is very probably being damaged by the levels of isolation and loneliness they are experiencing. They more than ever, need people to reach out and connect during lockdown.
Good News
There is good news however. For one thing, loneliness doesn’t seem to be getting worse.3 If anything it’s falling. However, that doesn’t take into account the effects of the current crisis and that loneliness has considerable negative effects on health and wellbeing.
Staying in touch by video calls is also not the negative it may seem. It provides eye contact4 which can help us release positive hormones. And it provides a window into other people’s wider lives which can be a positive in the workplace.5
If my experience and those of friends is anything to go by, the lockdown is bringing people together in ways we’d not expected. One friend reports more contact with his brother than at any time for five years. Neighbours and communities have come together desperate to help each other. Perhaps contact with families and friends means more now than it did before. Perhaps we’re learning to take other human beings less for granted.
Five Ways To Connect Better
So what can we do? How can we how to reach out and connect during lockdown? Try these five evidence-based ways.
- Connecting with someone else, especially someone who needs it (e.g. someone new at work or an isolated neighbour), will help you too. Caring creates resilience6 by releasing positive hormones. Even if it can’t be in person, caring and being cared for is a positive experience.
- If you are living with someone or in a social bubble, then take as much opportunity as you can to enjoy physical contact. Physical contact through hugs or even a touch of the hand is an excellent stress-reliever.
- If you can’t have physical contact, then if eye contact is good too, contact at a distance and video calls are going to be better than the phone.
- Showing someone that you love them is going to be positive for both of you.7 So, think about how you do that. Can you go above and beyond a normal gesture?
- Use social media judiciously. Can you use it more to spread joy rather than anxiety?8 Can you use it more for one to one contacts rather than passively scrolling through the parts of people’s lives they want you to consume? It can be a force for good if we all make it that way.
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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio
- From the Red Cross.
- Along with collaboration and communication.
- An optimistic note from the wonderful people at Our World In Data.
- Dr Fiona Kerr’s Ted Talk.
- Interesting article on the BBC news website.
- A Ted Talk From Dr Kelly McGonigal on stress reduction through reaching out to others.
- Check out this book by the former Surgeon-General of the USA.
- Important research quoted here on the BBC.