Reading Time: 3 Minutes
It was February and Jason Fruen stood nervously in the Manchester rain. He was wet and stiff with cold, having spent hours close to one of Europe’s busiest motorways, while people with cars, jobs and money drove past him.
The 2008 recession had just started, his temporary job had just finished and his home was in danger of being repossessed. He wasn’t the type to despair but life had become very hard.
But Jason wasn’t waiting for a lift and neither was he thinking of ending it all. He was a man on a mission; to put food on his family’s table and keep the roof over their head. He was standing next to the motorway looking for a job.
Endeavours Rewarded
Jason told the BBC, “I’m not one for … sitting at home waiting for a job to come to me. I’m going out looking for one and I’m looking out here.” 1
He bought himself a sandwich board, with “Mechanical Maintenance Engineer Seeking Employment” and his phone number printed in very big letters and went and stood next to as busy a road as possible.
His endeavours were rewarded. He got several job offers, both via his initial efforts and the publicity created in the local and national media. He eventually decided to change career to sales – his new employer having been so impressed by his determination and ability to think outside the box.
Lessons
Could you put yourself in this position, surmounting feelings of humiliation and ask people driving past for a job? How many of us would
- freeze at the prospect of financial hardship, believing ourselves to be powerless?
- curse at the unfairness of it all and at our misfortune?
- spend time feeling victimised instead of acting productively and proactively?
The interesting thing for us is that by taking the action he did, Jason embraced what I call the mother and father of resilience – personal responsibility for his future.
In other words, if you want to be resilient in the face of adversity, then you won’t slay any of your personal dragons without asking yourself, “What can I do about it?”
You won’t slay any of your personal dragons without asking yourself, “What Can I Do About It?” Share on XNo one should mis-understand this to mean that we’re responsible for every misfortune which befalls us in life (although sometimes our choices lead to the misfortune).
What it does mean is that we are responsible for what happens next. Even if we have no control over outcomes, we absolutely do have control over our thoughts, attitudes and actions.
Ask Yourself
Asking yourself “What can I do about it?” during the spread of the Corona virus, the onset of severe illness or a bereavement gives you a different perspective. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of feeling powerless, of feeling overwhelmed by the challenges we face, that we forget there are things we can do.
Especially during the current tough times, asking yourself, “What can I do about it?” could help you to focus on what’s genuinely important, such as your health and the health of those close to you. It could also help you to take positive steps to manage your illness or find new purpose to honour the life of your departed loved one.
Again, no one should tell you that you should not feel the way that you do about your unique burden. This is not a blame game. No one asks to be hit by the juggernauts of bereavement, disability or redundancy.
That isn’t to say, however, that we can’t help ourselves in these instances – and here’s how.
A Simple Five Minute Task
- Take a piece of paper and a pen and write at the top of the paper, “What Can I Do About It?”
- Follow it with a list of specific actions you can take which could help you. This isn’t what your boss, your spouse or your doctor can do. It’s what is within your control. Don’t judge how well the actions might work yet, just keep writing.
- When you can’t write anymore, take two or three of the more promising actions you have written down and prioritise them.
- Then make them specific. For example, “Try to be more positive” is going to work less well than, “When my manager asks me to do a piece of work, the last thing I will do before I leave that day will be to write down three positive aspects to the task she has given me.”
- Nail it down. When, where and with whom are all going to help you perform this action. Tip: Why not tell someone about what you plan to do, to add to the likelihood of performing this action?
Dai says, “Studies show that we are much more likely to perform an action if we schedule it.
Congratulations, you’ve now got a mini-roadmap to help you respond positively to your crisis and start thriving again and if my experience is anything to go by, you probably feel a bit more confident about your future and your ability to cope.
And who knows, you may just enjoy the same success as Jason Fruen – without getting wet.
If this article piqued your interest then subscribe to the blog to make sure you don’t miss any further posts and … why not think of one person this article could help and share it with them using the buttons below?