This is the fourth article in a four part series looking at how taking more personal responsibility can move you forward from change, challenge or crisis. To read all the articles in the series, click here.
When Alan Johnston took those decisions to take back control over aspects of his captivity, he was acting in his Circle of Influence, a concept developed by Stephen Covey in his seminal book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.1“
So what does Circle of Influence mean?
Imagine two concentric circles, the inner being the circle of influence, the outer one being the circle of concern.
Covey suggests that the circle of concern consists of all the things we cannot change. The things we can change are part of the circle of influence. He also contends that the circle of concern covers a much wider area than the circle of influence. After all, there are many more things about life which are not in our hands than there are things which are.
However, Covey suggests that it is important to consider in which circle we spend our time.
People prepared to take responsibility for their situation spend more of their time in their circle of influence. They choose to act on the things over which they have control rather than being concerned about events over which they exert no direct control.
So for example, those people will try to improve their capability at work by investing time in their professional development or will play an active part to improve things in their local community.
Other people less concerned about taking responsibility will spend a lot of time bemoaning the weather, world politics and the behaviour of other people.
Indirect Control
Interestingly, there is a grey area, a third circle if you like, between the two circles. This is a circle occupied by those things over which we have a measure of indirect control.
Covey suggests that by focussing on our circle of influence, on the things we can change, bit by bit we begin exerting influence over the things in this grey area. People begin listening to us, our actions are noticed, we achieve more because we are spending more time on doing what we can rather than wondering why and how things happen to us.
“What Can I Do About It?”
It’s very easy to start working in your Circle of Influence, you concentrate very much on the “I” in the question, “What can I do about it?”
Focussing on taking personal responsibility (the “I” in the question), means we focus on ourselves, on taking responsibility for our own actions and choices and taking control of our own destinies. And when we do this we make ourselves powerful. We are in charge, we are in control of our lives, we can make things happen the way we want.
Compare someone who
- talks endlessly about how dangerous someone else’s driving was
- how they’ve been overlooked for a new job
- how they can’t afford a new car because of how prices are rising.
And someone who
- experiences dangerous driving but quickly decides they can’t change it and decides to ensure that his or her driving is safe and courteous in future
- is turned down for a new job but decides to learn as much as possible from the experience and use it in a plan to get the job they want
- accepts that part of the reason they can’t afford a new car is because they have made choices to spend money on other things. They decide that to afford the new car they will have to review these choices.
My Circle of Influence
I’d like to tell you about a time where I lived very much in my circle of concern but managed to break out of it and concentrate my efforts within my circle of influence.
I used to work with someone whom everyone disliked. He was rude and superior to everyone but always made sure his superiors knew how good his work was. The first time I came across him was in a meeting. I made a suggestion and he put his hand up and simply said “No!” to my idea.
That really put me into reactive mode and I confessed his sins to all and sundry. And guess what, virtually everyone I came across was glad to do the same. We spent a lot of time doing that. At some point, though, I realised I needed to work with this person and decided to change what I could about the situation.
I realised I could change the way I saw him. I’d begun to perceive him as someone threatening and decided to reduce the threat by always picturing him dressed up as Mickey Mouse! I also began to feel sorry for him because his social skills were such that I could only assume that he had no friends.
Wacky Tip: If there is someone who is causing you problems in your life, imagining them naked or dressed as a cartoon character is a very helpful way of reducing the threat that they seem to represent. Try it!
I actually made an effort to get to know him and found out what his interests were. In meetings I found points of agreement with him and before long I found myself taking phone calls from him asking my opinion.
I knew my proactivity had worked when at last in one meeting a while later I made another suggestion. Someone else disagreed with me but this time he responded “No, Peter’s right!”
Task
Return to the tasks from the previous two posts. Look at the list of things which are within your control. These represent your circle of influence.
Now ask yourself this question. Which one of these things, if I were to act on it, would bring me the most benefit in my life?
If you’re ready, commit yourself to act on it by sharing it with other readers in the comments at the bottom of the page or on our Facebook page.
For more information, inspiration and practical help to help make you an ally of adversity and a friend of misfortune, subscribe to the Wacky Dai email and join our Facebook group too!
Next Week
Something slightly different – Seven Ways To Stay Mentally Strong In A Crisis. Make sure you don’t miss it by subscribing to the Wacky Dai email and following us on Facebook.
- Covey, Stephen R.; The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; Simon and Schuster 1989. The first chapter of Covey’s book is essential reading for all of us wanting to take more personal responsibility for our futures. I’ve been very influenced by it and feel that this blog is somehow an extension of his work.