“I was too cowardly to kill myself but I hoped the trip might do it for me,” Julia Buhring said, reflecting on her record-breaking cycling trip round the world in 2012.1 She was referring to the depression she experienced after the fatal crocodile attack suffered by her explorer partner two years earlier. This bereavement, coupled with childhood experiences growing up as part of a cult, almost made life unliveable for her.
In a similar way, Cheryl Strayed, whose story was made famous in the book and film, “Wild”2 sought redemption from the effects of childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence. Cheryl’s young adult life had descended into chaos and when she lost the main stabilising influence in her life, her mother, her resilience was severely tested. Four years later, after a failed marriage, she decided to walk the 1,100 mile Pacific Crest Trail to re-discover herself.
What both of these resilient and formidable women have in common is their response to the adversity they faced. They took on huge outdoor challenges, having identified the need for nature and physical exertion to build their resilience.
Interestingly, their responses to their individual difficulties tally with what we know about awe.
Awe
Awe has been identified as “one of the ten positive emotions that broaden our thoughts and actions and build lasting resources that help us flourish in life.
In modern times, the main triggers of awe are … literature, music, paintings, and nature. Awe is typically experienced in response to … natural wonders, stunning sunrises, or events such as childbirth.”3
There’s something about a deep connection to nature in particular which seems to give us a sense of being part of something much bigger and feeds feelings of positivity.
Referring to the abuse at the hands of her father, Cheryl said in her book “I didn’t have to be amazed by him anymore. There were so many other amazing things in this world.”
Challenge
Setting ourselves challenges has also been shown to increase our sense of well-being and improve our confidence. Both Cheryl and Julia grew because of their achievements and Julia has gone on to accomplish even more in the world of long-distance cycling.
“I’m fascinated by what we can do when we don’t imagine we possibly can.”
Julia Buhring
Cheryl felt able to pursue her challenge because of what she’d already endured. After her traumatic experiences, the thought of being alone or dealing with extreme weather didn’t worry her too much.
“Nothing bad could happen to me. The worst thing already had.”
Cheryl Strayed, “Wild”
Some Awe Of My Own
When I was recovering from my 12 years of severe M.E./Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, awe wasn’t on my radar. A challenge most certainly was. In 2017, thirteen years after first becoming ill, I decided I would run a 10K race.
It was only after crossing that finish line after four months of training, that I felt like I’d re-joined society. While not suffering the trauma of childhood abuse or neglect, years of illness had left me feeling marginalised. I wanted to prove to myself or perhaps to other people that I’d found myself again. It certainly felt like one of the milestones of my life.
Awe came later. Being outdoors so often, in a way I could only have dreamt of while ill, reconnected me to nature. I didn’t even need daylight. Running in a winter evening, feeling the cold and rain on my face, was enough. Vistas of majestic countryside came later and there were genuine moments when I just felt so lucky to be alive. So lucky to experience this.
But what does this mean for you?
Your Life
You’re probably reading this because you have been affected by your own tough times.
Whether
- financial problems
- the end of a career
- significant health setbacks or
- bereavement
there’s much to learn from Cheryl’s and Julia’s experiences.
However, you don’t need to join an arctic expedition to experience awe or challenge yourself. There are things you can do right now.
For example, if you’ve just been made redundant, perhaps there’s something nearer home which could help boost your wellbeing. As we now know spending plenty time outdoors enjoying nature and doing something challenging could help you. So how about some mindful walks, taking in all that nature has to offer? If you’re short of fitness, perhaps you could build up the length of the walk over a period of several days.
If you’re struggling as a carer with very little time to yourself, could you wrap up warm and sit outside on a cloudless evening and observe the stars? For a challenge, is there a small goal you could set yourself which could improve your confidence just a little? If that works, perhaps you then set yourself a new one, and so on. All the time taking little steps to build back your confidence by challenging yourself in new and unusual ways.
Carry The Can
Sometimes it’s about working with what you’ve got. Perhaps you’re unlikely to walk the Rockies anytime soon but maybe you can work with the principle of the idea. If you’re housebound, can you take a little bit of joy in nature from watching the growth in a pot plant or a tree outside your window? If you’ve lost your sight, can you train yourself to listen for birdsong and distinguish the different birds?
Resilience is all about adapting to new circumstances. In the same way that a metal is put under stress and may change shape but retain its essential properties, so must we learn to accept whatever hand life deals us and play the cards as best we can. Carry the can: focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t.
It’s strange to think that the answer to so many of our problems could be outside our front door. No matter what difficulties you may be facing, Cheryl Strayed and Julia Behring may have given us two of the best life lessons possible.
Enjoy the awe of nature and challenge yourself. .
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Photo by qimono from Pixabay
- As told to The Guardian.
- See here for a review.
- Thanks as so often to the good people at the Positive Psychology website for this information.